Allyship is a journey and making mistakes is inevitable. The important thing is that when you make a mistake, you apologize genuinely, learn from it, and change your behavior.
Here are three simple tips to be an effective ally:
- Use Inclusive Language.
Inclusive language is language that is free from words, phrases or tones that reflect prejudiced, stereotyped or discriminatory views of particular people or groups. It is also language that often inadvertently excludes people from being seen as part of a group. The language we use can have a large impact on individuals’ experiences. It is important to use language that provides a safe and welcoming environment for everyone. Inclusive and appropriate language changes to adapt to current events and people’s needs. Words that were used in the past may not be to the correct ones to use in the present. For example, a phrase like “you guys” is gendered and would be better said as “everyone” or “you all. - Pronounce their names correctly.
“Time and time again, our users tell us that there’s a subtle but real sense of alienation that happens when your name is mispronounced,” says Praveen Shanbhag, who serves as CEO of NameCoach. Although mispronouncing someone’s name may not seem like a big deal, it can be frustrating to the other person, especially if the name is often mispronounced. If you are unsure about how to pronounce somebody’s name, politely ask. It is okay to say something like, “I am not sure how to say your name yet. Would you please say it again? I want to make sure I get it right.” Once you understand how to say their name correctly, use it often so that it becomes easier and easier for you to remember and say. - Don’t Interrupt.
Did you know that many studies have found that men interrupt others twice as often as women do and are nearly three times as likely to interrupt a woman as they are a man? A recent George Washington University study found that men interrupted 33 percent more often when they spoke with women than when they spoke with other men. Suggestion to be more inclusive: Pause before you interrupt someone and consider the implications. You might ask yourself why you are interrupting someone: Are you seeking clarity on an issue—if so, make sure you give the floor back to the speaker after asking the question. Are you trying to help yourself remember something key? Then take notes instead. If you see it happening what can you do? Steer the conversation back to the person who was interrupted by saying something like, “I’d like to hear the rest of what Katie was saying before we move on…”
This Allies for Equity Blog Post was written by Jake Taylor, Lead Intern. Jake is a junior at Indiana University, pursuing a B.A. in journalism. He is also minoring in gender studies. Jake works as the Male Advocacy Lead Intern for the Center, and hopes to make a meaningful impact on equity issues in his role. Jake is a Resident Assistant at Eigenmann Resident Hall, a radio host for WIUX, and an executive board member of the club Reporters Without Borders.
Allies for Equity is a team of undergraduate men within the Center that promotes and supports efforts toward gender equity at Indiana University. Our group works to learn about the challenges of women in technology and how to use this knowledge and our identity to raise awareness and combat negative influences that perpetuate the men-dominated culture in technology.
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