By Yue Stevenson
MA English Graduate Student
Being in Academia can feel like you’re constantly having to look ahead as a student so you can plan for your future career. I myself just started my English MA program about six weeks ago, and I already have thoughts of a possible PhD program in the back of my mind, with all of its worries. Becoming a successful candidate for further education requires publications, research, and strong relationships with your professors and colleagues. For myself, thinking of those future concerns is an easy way to spiral into anxiety when I have the present to worry about, which is no easy job in itself.
I don’t believe it is the healthiest way to look at it, and I’ve been unlearning the thought process myself, but a master’s degree has always been instilled in me as a means to an end, a steppingstone that would allow me to get even further with my studies in the hopes of receiving a Doctorate’s. I remember telling people close to me that I had been accepted to my current program, and I was immediately told to keep on going, rather than being congratulated on the achievement I had called to speak about. By no means did I apply to my master’s program because of silly bragging rights, but I still find myself being complicit with such ideals at times. Just last week, I was working at the University Writing Center, and instead of working on honing my skills at my graduate assistant position, I found myself asking my coworkers in a burst of anxiety, “Wait, when do I start applying to PhD programs? Isn’t that this Winter?” when I’ve not even begun musing on the master’s thesis I so excitedly decided to pursue with this program. A classmate of mine and my mentor at the writing center eventually spoke to me about the absurdity of worrying about something so early in my career, and he was absolutely right. A graduate program might be quick, but its still a minimum of a two-year journey that I’ve just barely dipped my feet into. Thinking about the end of it when I’d barely just begun would lead to nothing productive, especially if it caused me to neglect the workload I’ve already been assigned.
I don’t write this blog to simply say “Stop being anxious, things will be fine.” I deal with anxiety myself alongside my own buffet of challenges when it comes to mental health. If it was so simple to just rationalize every negative thought my brain thinks of, I’d have nipped them in the bud years ago, but I imagine most of you know it is never that cut and dry. Still, there are resources out there for graduate students to get help with their concerns, as are there communities looking to welcome and support you on your academic journey. I myself have my peers in the writing center, the Graduate Emissaries, and the English department, but there are also extensive resources like CAPS, the Graduate Office, and the Division of Student Affairs if your worries are ever piling up more quickly than you can quell them.
I’m writing this blog with a cat who I adopted just a few weeks ago napping at my side. A steaming cup of tea is on my desk, waiting to be sipped from between my clacking of my keyboard, and I’m preparing to read just a bit more before my classes tomorrow. I am by no means perfect at self-care when it comes to school, but I’m getting there, just as we all will with our goals in the future. It is okay to focus on the now if it helps you continue that journey.
Helpful resources:
https://graduate.iupui.edu/support/health.html
https://studentaffairs.iupui.edu/health/counseling-psychological/index.html
https://studentaffairs.iupui.edu/health/wellness-programs/index.html