by Kevin Hillman, PhD Candidate, Urban Education
It is safe to say that life has been really interesting since the arrival of the pandemic. Now that we have vaccines and the world is opening back up, it feels like many people are returning to life as they knew it while others are stuck at a crossroads. I happen to be one of those siting at the crossroads, evaluating life through a different set of eyes and thoughts. The world is not the same and neither am I. While so many are in a hurry to get back to the hustle and bustle of life, I can’t help but think of this opportunity as a chance to shape the life we want and to overhaul what no longer works for us individually, as a society, and even a country.
In my opinion, I REALLY don’t think we are talking enough and being honest about the “mental olympics” that many of us have been going through. Though lockdown, quarantine and isolation were not what we envisioned for our lives, I think it served a purpose, allowing us to stop and take inventory of ourselves and daily lives. Navigating a drastic life change, the reality of who you are, who you want to be, undoing trauma, fighting racism, distancing yourself from things and people that no longer pour into you, while attempting to establish real and sustainable boundaries has been a cluster. And to add a cherry on top for a little more razzle dazzle, let’s add in graduate school, family and work responsibilities, while living in a culture and society that expects you to produce and go about life as usual. Not that I have anything against folks returning back to the life they know, I just want a space for myself and others to work through the fundamental changes of who we are, who we were, and who we desire to be in life.
No matter your crossroads, know that your feelings are valid. The current life you’re living may not fit who you are anymore and that is okay. This is your opportunity to craft and go after life on your own terms. I am in no way saying that this will be easy, and presently, it may even pose more challenges than benefits. But like many of us have heard before, “nothing worth having comes easy.”
My advice is to talk it through with a therapist or someone you trust that has your best interest at heart. Personally, I see a therapist and I have made this a priority area in my sessions. If you don’t want to attend therapy, try journaling. Write it down and process what you need to do for yourself. Lastly, make the changes, cross the road, start living the life that fits who you are now. My hope through this blog entry is that I can begin to bring awareness and craft a space for this level of transparency and conversation.
We only get one life, so it’s time we go fill it up with livin!
Resources:
https://studentaffairs.iupui.edu/health/wellness-programs/index.html
https://graduate.iu.edu/resources/trauma/index.html
https://graduate.iupui.edu/about/emissaries/index.html