By Jasmine Beecham
Graduate Student – Applied Social & Organizational Psychology
As you are likely aware, the world is a mess. We are in the middle of a pandemic, as well as a revolution. This revolution has been a long time coming though so this is a mess that we need to embrace for now. While many of us may know this, particularly fellow POC in academia and Black academics, it can still be hard to keep energy consistent for a revolution. There are plenty of resources out there about spreading your voice, helpful information to educate ourselves, and resources to support various communities. There are people speaking out about being #BlackintheIvory where they have the freedom to speak up. Unfortunately, not everyone has this freedom.
I am among the privileged who have not had too many poor experiences in my time in academia. It is unfortunate that it is a privilege but I am going to use my space and freedom to share some thoughts. Obviously I cannot share everyone’s experience or perspective, this is just what I know and feel the freedom to share. Knowledge is power and instead of gate-keeping, I want to make it accessible and share it with those I can.
When the pandemic started it was a bit rough for me, but I could handle it. Much of my work could easily be done online, I got a desk, and I just had very flexible hours so I could rest when I was overwhelmed. My advisors were understanding and I didn’t try to over-push myself. However, when the racial justice revolution began, it took a pretty big tole on me.
I am a Black-White biracial female who studies discrimination and bias in the workforce – this revolution was so much of my life experience and passion of research combined. I should have been ecstatic that so many people were talking about this, not just people of color or academics, but people who have the privilege to not experience many of these things and still speak up. I wish we didn’t have to be so shocked and proud that people speak up about injustices that don’t impact them; I wish it was a standard to expect us to respect all lives, but since we are not to that place yet I still wish to commend people for educating themselves and educating those around them. Knowledge and truth cannot lie, it will only lead to growth for us and for society. However, this post is not about patting White people on the back so back to me.
I was feeling very drained by all the videos of violence towards Black people shared all over social media, all of the killings, all of the uprooting of past injustice and stats, all the legal and illegal violence towards Blacks – many things I knew but was now being overwhelmed with. I couldn’t get away from it in work, as I was currently researching laws about legal discrimination towards minorities within dress codes. In my personal life I wanted to be a vocal advocate but was worried about the privilege I have as sometimes presenting as White. All of this had me losing energy through the emotional toll. However, that all turned around when I went to my first protest.
I wanted to show numbers, show that this cause matters to people and was keeping movement, even if I just stood around for 2 hours. I went to my first sit-in and immediately felt ‘this is the safest group of people I can be around for myself and my identity right now’. It was actually the place I had seen the most people also wear masks so I felt even more at-ease. We sat and listened to the speakers, giving space to minority politicians and Black women. I felt safe and I felt revitalized by the end. They had said many of the things I thought of and felt. I realized it made me feel good to share this information. I tried not to focus on the videos of violence, reminding me of my concerns for when I or family members go out alone at night, or get pulled over. Instead, I focused on finally speaking up. I wasn’t going to let others speak for me, or assume that they would learn, because I decided that whoever followed me on social media was going to learn today.
I called out those who complained about the protests but weren’t doing anything to incite change themselves. I explained to people when they shared stats, how they were being misconstrued or missing portions of history. I said my piece on police brutality and you know what? It’s the best I’ve felt this whole pandemic. I got tired of worrying if I would upset people or how they would react because finally enough people were backing me where I wouldn’t be in the minority speaking out. I could stand up and have support if I needed it. I could point out stats without the subject being changed because the subject was everywhere! I’m tired of being kind and quiet and considerate in how I word my arguments – if they’re not being considerate of human lives I will not pretend to agree to disagree. The past 400 years haven’t worked, we’ve just legalized discrimination in many cases, so might as well try speaking for some change and see what happens! It’s not like I have any more to lose than is already being threatened! I am proud of the policy change I have seen but I am still just as hungry for more. I won’t stop speaking, I won’t stop calling people out, and I won’t stop educating.
I know not everyone will be energized by these same things. That’s alright. Find what energizes you and use that to create change in that domain. Use the energy you gain in comfortable spaces to compel forward lasting change. While I do commend my friends who have done a great job of educating themselves, I also fear that me saying ‘good job’ or giving them a thumbs up will make them feel ‘okay, I have received validation from a Black person and that’s the true sign, that’s all I need’ because it’s not. I don’t want them to do things because it looks good to me – I want them to learn about these experiences because it is good for them. If you never have to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, you are very privileged, but it doesn’t mean you cannot help. Use that privilege to your advantage – call out people who are in positions of power, call out your loved ones, check them on their assumptions and help them remain educated in these conversations. Those without power may face greater backlash than you.
Black Americans are tired of always having to speak up about this, of having to ask for change, of seeing so many deaths and injustices swept under the rug yet again. You might feel burnout and tired, but you likely don’t have the same fears they do. So, if you are tired, push through, because so many Black Americans have to every day – it’s not a choice for them so treat it as if it’s not a choice for you either. That is the way to see change – we have to let society know change is not a choice and we will be granted it whether they give it to us or whether we vote them out until we hold the power to grant that safety to ourselves. Either way, I’ll wait, and until then, I’ll keep speaking out.