“I love to laugh. It’s the only way to live. Enjoy each day — it’s not coming back again!” — Doris Day
May 13, 2019 became the day I had been dreading for years when, after 97 years of sharing her impossibly bright light with the world, Doris Day passed away. All I wanted to do that Monday was read any and every piece dedicated to her, a practice that only reaffirmed something I already knew: after some 600 recordings, 39 films, and one TV show, people still struggle to understand her legacy. Words like “wholesome,” “chaste,” and “virginal” were used over and over, as if they were the only adjectives that could possibly make sense when describing Day. I’ll admit I bought into this when I first discovered her. Her name had become synonymous with this idea of “the eternal virgin,” an insulting mismatch that has never gone away.
But the more I saw of her, the more confused I felt. This was, to borrow her own phrase, Miss Chastity Belt? This confident, ambitious, take-charge woman, with her throaty laugh and sparkling eyes? As I fell in love with Day’s work, it became obvious that somewhere along the way, her sunny personality and strong sense of integrity somehow got translated into a persona that didn’t truly exist. The motivations of her characters were twisted to fit this narrative — instead of the independent careerwoman, she would be the girl who was afraid of sex. For women, the policing of our sexuality is a concept we know well; for Day, it’s a concept that seemed to erase any feminist agenda her characters suggested. (more…)








