November’s Tradition and Change: How to Handle the Stress of it All

November can be a stressful time: upcoming holidays, the semester on its way to its close with projects and exams, the seasons change, election results. Seeing family in large settings, the financial pressure of the holiday seasons, and the inclusion of substances at these events. Seasons change, and the lack of light causing an increase in seasonal depression can cause feelings of isolation and make the world feel colder. It is a season of traditions and new changes. It can all feel like a lot. But there is always hope. November does not have to be just surviving, but an opportunity to build your resilience, to know who you have for support, and to celebrate how far you have come. We can build up our resilience to the potential stress that comes with this month by planning, knowing or building our support system, and taking care of yourself. 

Make a plan

Planning is a good skill, especially in recovery, because it provides structure and helps minimize uncertainty, which can be a source of stress. Having a plan helps maintain a consistent schedule that supports sobriety, which can include meals, meetings, exercise, or moments for relaxation. A predictable routine can counteract feelings of chaos or being overwhelmed. Make a plan on how much you want to spend. Not just financially, how much time do you want to spend at one family member’s house versus another, how do you want to spend your holiday, and who do you want to be around. Having a plan and knowing how your month will look can help manage stress, and it can help you have an expectation. This can help you avoid what may be a high-risk situation, who you can go to, and where if it becomes one. Planning helps you stay connected to your support system, especially if you are around people who may not know your sobriety status or are around people who may not be supportive. You can plan and communicate ahead of time to make sure someone is reachable to you. Make a plan that works for you that helps you decrease potential areas of stress and sets you up for success. Remember, it is not about perfection but progress, so if the plans don’t go exactly as planned, that is okay, and celebrate whatever small wins come along the way. 

• Reach Out for Support: Keep in touch with friends, mentors, or support groups who understand what you’re going through.
• Set a Schedule: Create a clear plan for the month that includes time for studying, family gatherings, self-care, and relaxation.
• Prioritize Tasks: Break down projects and exam preparation into manageable steps to reduce overwhelm and help you stay on track.
• Communicate Needs: Let friends and family know what you’re comfortable with and set boundaries around topics or situations that may cause stress.
• Limit Commitments: Be selective about which events you attend to avoid spreading yourself too thin. If going to an event, you can plan to stay for a limited period and communicate this in advance to avoid overcommitting.
• Join a Study Group or Community: Engaging in group activities can provide a sense of belonging, lessen feelings of isolation, keep up those grades, and help the stress of managing school work. 

Seasonal Depression 

Even the most resilient can find the lack of light challenging; it can be potentially more challenging for those in recovery, as it adds an additional layer of emotional and mental stress. The days being shorter, the weather being colder, and reduced sunshine often times come with feelings of tiredness, sadness, and loneliness. Some things that can help are making an extra effort to stay in touch with your friends, keeping a routine, staying active, and making sure that you get the most time out in the sun that you can. If it is difficult within your schedule to spend time in the sun, using a happy light for 20-30 in the morning can have the same effect. Making sure that you are eating and sleeping well to make sure that you have a good foundation. 

• Stay Hydrated and Nourished: Drinking water and eating balanced meals can help regulate mood and energy levels.
• Use Light Therapy or get Get Sunlight Exposure: Spend time outside during daylight hours, even if it’s cloudy. Consider using a light therapy box to combat symptoms of seasonal depression.
• Exercise: even if it is just going on a walk with a friend, not only can exercise make you feel less stressed and productive, but it also serves as a break from the rest of your commitments. 

Stress coping skills 

• Having a support system in place
  • Plan check-ins with friends and supportive people before, during, and after whatever you are going to. Going to group meetings up to and after can also decrease potential stress. This can help make you feel that you have a good base to work from and feel in control and comfortable no matter the situation. 
• Having an Exit Strategy
  • One of the best pieces of advice around holidays I have ever received is to always drive yourself so you are never stuck. Having an exit strategy can be good for everyone if events become overwhelming and you have a quick and easy way to leave. Having a friend come with you if you don’t drive so you have a way home. You can always have a code phrase that is easy to work in so that you can communicate easily. 
• Staying Occupied 
  • Bring something to do with you to events, something to do if there is a lull, something to fidget with. Being involved on campus or in volunteer events throughout this time can be helpful. Making plans with friends far in advance for the whole month. 
• Practice Saying No before the moment comes
  • Ask a friend to pretend to offer you something like an apple and practice no matter how persuasive they are or pushy you maintain your no. This can be helpful when someone at a gathering is offering a substance and you can maintain whatever boundaries you have set for yourself. 
• Hydration 
  • Drink water and eat for yourself like you would someone you care for. Maintaining blood sugar levels can help with tiredness and irritability. 
    • Bringing your own beverage: bring a non-alcoholic beverage that you enjoy and you are involved in the gathering while maintaining your boundaries. Plus, you get your favorite drink at the party or dinner guaranteed. 

There may be no avoiding stress, but there are endless possibilities of ways to manage it. Protecting your recovery by taking steps ahead of time to reduce stress. You’re strong and resilient, and people are rooting for you. Make this month your own, and make it the best for you.