Writing a thesis is not what I expected. I thought it would feel exciting, like doing something meaningful. And sometimes it did. But most of the time, it just felt really heavy and it honestly made me really anxious. Even the thought of starting to write it and plan it out stressed me out because I am such a perfectionist. I cared about doing it well, but I also didn’t want to do it at all.
I kept waiting to be “ready.” I thought I needed to have the perfect idea or a perfect outline before I could start writing. But you’re never going to feel ready. Just start. Even if it’s messy. Even if it doesn’t make sense yet. It’s better to have something you can fix than to sit in silence for weeks because you’re scared it won’t be good.
There were days when I felt really tired and unmotivated, but every time I pushed off working on my thesis, my anxiety only got worse. I had to sit down and write anyway. If you wait until you feel inspired, you will never finish. The truth is, the more you avoid it, the worse it feels. Even just writing a paragraph helps you feel less stuck.
I didn’t always know how to ask for help. But when I finally did — whether it was asking someone to read over a section, talk through an idea with me, it made everything feel more manageable.Even your professors or friends can help edit your paper and give you suggestions.
I didn’t realize how emotionally and mentally draining it would be to write something this big. It wasn’t just about the research, it was also about staying focused, trying to sound smart, managing self-doubt, and pushing through when I felt like giving up. So give yourself credit. It’s not easy. Don’t expect yourself to work at full capacity every day.
I also spent too much time rereading sentences that didn’t matter. I cared so much about how it sounded that I kept rewriting things before finishing a full section. That was a mistake. Just write what you’re trying to say. Fix it later. You’ll probably revise it a hundred times anyway. Clarity matters more than trying to sound academic.
There were times I felt guilty resting because I hadn’t written enough. But when I tried to push through exhaustion, I just got more burnt out. Sometimes you need to step away. You’ll write better when your brain isn’t foggy and your body isn’t drained. Sometimes it is better to just let it be for a little while and come back to it when you are feeling better!
I was also pretty nervous that I would not finish my thesis, but of course I did, even if it was really messy. There were moments I thought I wouldn’t. I kept thinking I was behind or that everyone else had it figured out. But most people feel the same way. Everyone’s tired. Everyone’s stressed. Everyone questions if their research is good enough. That’s normal!
Shailey Desai is a senior at Indiana University’s O’Neill School, studying International Policy and Development. Her thesis explores secondhand clothing trade policy and fast fashion dumping in Ghana and Tanzania. She wrote it during the hardest year of her life and is still here.
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