Why is confidence important?
Confidence is a state of mind; it affects how you approach new challenges, build relationships, and recognize that sometimes you have to try again.
Confidence affects our ability to:
- Build Relationships
- Make Decisions
- Understand that mistakes help you grow
- Solve Problems
- Achieve Goals
Here are some tips you can use right now to help your preschooler increase their self-confidence:
Offer Developmentally-Appropriate Choices
Providing your child with choices gives them a sense of control and ownership. Even small decisions, like what color cup they would like or which flavor of ice cream they want for dessert. Just be sure to offer choices that are acceptable to you, regardless of what they choose.
Celebrate Effort, Not Just Results
Praise effort, perseverance, and strategy. For example, “You worked really hard on that puzzle!” This kind of praise helps children associate hard work with success, rather than fearing failure.
Encourage Independence in Everyday Tasks
Let them zip up their jacket, help pack their lunch, or feed the family pet. It will take longer, but the payoff is huge. It teaches responsibility and lets them know they can do some of the same activities that you do. This makes them feel proud and confident.
Use Positive Language
Focus on what you want your child to do, not what they should not do. Instead of saying, “Don’t drop it,” try saying, “Hold it with both hands.” This change can promote a more encouraging environment.
Model Confidence
Show your child how you handle everyday challenges and approach new things. It is okay to let them know that you had to try something several ways to get it to work. Or that you were unsure of trying something new but then enjoyed it. They watch us and learn from our behaviors. Kids mirror the behavior of trusted adults.
It is Okay to Make Mistakes
Remind your preschooler that making errors is how we learn. Share your own small failures and how you bounced back. A fear of failure can paralyze a child. Understanding that we all make mistakes helps children build resilience and a willingness to try again.
Encourage Social Connections
Friendships are a key ingredient in developing confidence. Provide opportunities for your child to practice sharing and engage in group activities. When children feel accepted and included, they naturally feel more confident.
Set Clear Routines and Boundaries
Having a routine helps children understand expectations and feel secure. When children know what to expect and what is expected of them, they feel more competent.
Celebrate Small Wins
Did your child put their shoes on? Did they try the vegetable at dinner? These small victories help your child see the progress they are making, reinforcing the belief that they are capable. Let them hear you tell someone what they did and how proud you are!
Confident children are more likely to:
- Try new activities
- Participate in class
- Express their thoughts and ideas
- Share and engage in group activities
Developing self-confidence in your child is a process that requires patience, encouragement, and time. It is important for all children, including children who have delays or disabilities. The strategies above can serve as a starting point to help your child build their confidence. As your child becomes more confident, you are preparing them to make decisions, build relationships, and achieve their goals.
Marcie Beers
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