By Adria Nassim
I often talk to audiences about my experience with disclosure and how that played a role in my journey to accept life with a disability. Many with disabilities wrestle with disclosing and accepting their diagnosis. If you’re struggling, know that you have the right to feel however you feel.
When I discuss disclosure, I always explain why I chose to say yes instead of no. But I also talk about how the path to self-acceptance was not quick, nor was it without a fair amount of anguish. Eventually, by my mid 20s, with the help of consistent support from my amazing family as well as child and adolescent mental health services, I began to make peace with my circumstances rather than rebel against them.
Disclosure was a part of my self-acceptance
Disclosure involves letting those around you know about private or personal information such as your medical history. If you are thinking of letting your parents handle disclosure at college or at work, you should know that doesn’t work very well. Once you leave the school system, it becomes your decision and your responsibility to disclose. The rules are different than what you probably experienced in high school when Mom or Dad would advocate for your needs. Now, that is up to you.
Some young people with disabilities worry about being judged, viewed as different, or given special treatment by a professor or employer if they disclose. I understand why they might feel this way. However, I chose to disclose because I didn’t want there to be any reason for speculation or doubt in anyone’s mind about why a specific circumstance such as my getting lost or disoriented might occur.
I think with invisible disabilities there can be much less general knowledge, so people are more apt to speculate. The decision not to disclose may lead others to form false assumptions. I have had that happen to me in the past, where teachers just assumed I wasn’t trying hard enough, even though I have a significant learning disability. Without disclosure, they would never have known that what they thought was just me not listening in class was much more than that.
Deciding to disclose can be a process
There are several different environments where a person might want to disclose: at work, school, or with friends. It can be a process to learn where and to whom you should disclose. Depending on what I do with them, I might disclose to people I see frequently. People I don’t see that often usually don’t need to know.
For a long time, even before I have the disclosure conversation, I spend a lot of time just watching people’s demeanor, the things they say, and the way they act around their friends and others. Then, after numerous times being around them, I will sit down with them and have a conversation about my life and my different diagnoses and how they affect me.
I have found that even though I still sometimes get nervous in the beginning, choosing to disclose has brought people closer to me and helped me form relationships with a lot of great people instead of pushing them away.
A disability is never a person’s fault
A person shouldn’t have to feel like they must keep a secret about something that plays such a significant role in their lives. Thanks to disclosure, I am very happy because people know me as me.